A bend in the road

I am obviously not an avid blogger yet - seeing as how my last post was almost exactly one month ago. But, at the same time, this month has been busy with so many endings and preparations for new beginnings. Dan graduated from his program on May 20th, 2010 with honors. I can not even express the joy I felt watching him receive his diploma. A sense of relief washed over me as a weight lifted off my shoulders--a weight that I guess I had learned to live with because it surprised me when it came off. All of a sudden I realized that Dan would be done writing papers, done studying til the wee hours of the morning, done being consumed with the non-stop pressures of a program that never allowed a moment's break...and able to finally practice (and get paid for) the discipline that he is so passionate about. I am so proud of the work he has done and so thankful to have a Lord who never sleeps; rather, He takes all our burdens and brings us through the tough times....and these two years have definitely been "stretching" years in so many ways.

I have also ended my time at Interac as a contractor in the Children's outpatient department because we are moving (tomorrow actually) to Hershey so that Dan can start his new job. This has meant a change in work for me. I had to say goodbye to so many families who have let me into the most intimate parts of their lives. I know that I will wonder about some of these children forever - wonder whether they ever finished school; wonder whether they ever find true support and experience genuine love; wonder whether they ever understand how much they are loved and valued by God.... I have had to learn to trust God to save and protect these families and children -- it is not something I could do myself - even if I were to stay.

So Dan and I have packed up the apartment (with a ton of help from my parents) and we are waiting to make the move to Hershey. I have said so many goodbyes but have also left many unsaid. I am so sad to leave Philadelphia because it has been good to us; our church family has been especially good to us. Dan and I still talk about God's faithfulness in bringing us to this little part of Philadelphia and to this family of believers. Yet, instead of finding it easier to trust God to lead us again into a new place, I find myself worried that maybe God won't make it so blatantly clear and easy again because that would be, well, too good to be true. It is sort of like when I was a kid and I would ask my dad on a Sunday afternoon to go to a friend's house (after having had a friend over the day before) and he would tell me, "no, you have had enough fun this weekend." We used to joke about his "fun quota." I mean, I understand his point - you can't let your kids just go from activity to activity without any limits, but in a way, I tend to view God like that - like He will look at Dan and I say, "well, you have been really blessed these past two years, I think I am gonna put the brakes on these blessings and let you figure some things out for yourself right now...you've had enough fun and been happy for long enough." But I have read nothing about this sort of God in scripture and He has done nothing in my life to give any sort of validity to my worry. So, at this HUGE bend in the road, I do what scripture tells me to do...I must "trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding...in all my ways acknowledge Him, and He will make my path straight."