Another Life...

I am just going to start this post with one amazing thought: It is April. I know that everyone says that time flies...but, really, it is April?? I am sitting on the couch with my legs propped up and the laptop humming softly - totally lost in the thought that it is April and we have an almost-5-month-old son. I mean, what life it this? I am a stay at home mom to the sweetest little boy with the cutest gummy smile. I live in a red brick house in Hershey and I now drive a mini van... again, what life is this? Just last year we were squeezed into a tiny apartment in Philadelphia while I worked full-time and Dan lived the life of a busy graduate student. My how quickly things change!

The biggest change of our lives happened in the wee hours of the morning on November 27, 2010. At 4:15am Levi Daniel Thrush made his appearance in the world. As I reflect back on that time, I have snippets of memory... I remember taking, oh, 10 hours to decide if I was in labor; then REALLY wanting to get to the hospital. I remember the looks on people's faces as I walked quickly through the hospital, up to the labor and deliver floor....they gave these half-smile, "knowing" looks. I remember how annoying it was to have to answer questions and sign my name while having contractions; I remember pacing the floor; and, oh, I remember the epidural! I remember settling into the bed and watching Dan eat his dinner. I remember apologizing to the nurse every time she walked into the room because we were watching episodes of 30 Rock on the TV and she had a knack for entering right around the time an off collar joke was used. I remember being told that it was time to push. I remember everyone saying "great job" after every push and getting pumped up...and me yelling at them to stop saying that unless the baby was ready to come out. I remember seeing Levi for the first time and saying "He is purple!" I remember a big man telling me that I had to get out of bed and try to walk. I remember being ticked off at him. I remember seeing Levi wrapped up so tight - his little face scrunched up as he slept. I remember being pushed in a wheel chair over to another room and kind of having fun with that... I remember pain. I remember the nurse who got me awesome pain killers. I remember some things I won't write about. I remember looking at the menu at the hospital and thinking "do sick people really want to eat beef stroganoff?" I remember writing in, "grilled cheese." I remember being so overwhelmed with love...and then with anxiety; "we have a baby?!?" I remember leaving the hospital and feeling like the whole world had stood still for three days while we were holed up in our room, a new little family. I remember leaving the hospital with my greatest pain, greatest accomplishment, and greatest love in my arms.

Since then life has been lived a day at a time - getting to know Levi and learning what it means to be a new mom (that is a whole other post). I had some difficulty in my recovery and with feedings at first; I often heard the phrase "this too shall pass" from others and from my own head. But I have also discovered that that phrase is bittersweet. "This too shall pass" is meant to be an encouragement during hard times but, for me, it has also become a reminder to savour every moment with Levi. He is only 4 and a half months old but already things have passed. He doesn't want to sleep all snuggled up to me for hours; he is too big for his teeny weeny outfits; he sometimes seems too busy to want to nurse... I LOVE the interactive, happy baby that he is now, but I recognize that every stage has its joys and I must try not to wish so hard for the next stage that I miss the wonders of the present. Dan and I are so blessed; we've stepped into a whole other life and it is so great. It has challenges, but it is good. I will try to write more now that things have settled. I feel like there are so many things to write about and share... but for now, I hear a little voice back in the nursery that is telling me it is time to stop blogging and change a diaper!