I always enjoy hearing the "labor stories" of my friends and, to be honest, I think I want to write about our recent labor and delivery just because I need to process it...because it all happened so quickly. So, if you hate hearing labor stories, don't read this post. =)
In many ways, my labor story isn't dramatic or exciting. I have no "war stories" from the experience. When I was leaving the labor and delivery wing to go over to the recovery wing, my nurse told me I was "text book" and could come back any time! But even though the story isn't dramatic, it is beautiful. It is beautiful because we were witness to one of (in my opinion) the greatest miracles you can ever imagine (ie..a baby coming out of your body...eeek!!) And it is beautiful because the whole story is filled with answered prayer.
Let me back up a minute and share briefly about my experience with labor and delivery....
When I had Levi, I think I had a somewhat typical "first baby" experience. The labor wasn't any better or worse than this time around but delivery was much harder. Levi was bigger, I was a first time mom, and, well, he came out like a shot (it is never good when everyone starts yelling "stop" to a pushing mom). So, at the end of the day, I had a bit of repair work. The physical pain after delivery was so incredible I still cringe when I think of it... in many ways, it was traumatic. I also struggled with breast feeding in the early weeks and developed several issues there...and, to top it all off, I had NO idea what I was doing with a newborn! To say that my "joy" of being a mom was decreased is a bit of an understatement. Don't get me wrong, I LOVED Levi and could not get enough of him...but the whole experience had worn me down and stole some of the enjoyment from those precious first moments and weeks with my son.
Coming into this labor and delivery, I had some obvious concerns. I was about half way through this pregnancy when I started telling people I really, really wanted to have a C-section! I had seen girls bounce back WAY faster with a C-section than I had with Levi, so I decided to hope for a breach baby or something. I also struggled with the idea that God could, if He wanted to, make my delivery pain free - should I be praying for that? Even when the Bible is very clear that we still live in a fallen world with pain and suffering....who am I to pray for pain free delivery? What point does that have besides, well, being pain free? So I got kind of messed up in the whole "what should I even be praying for here" idea...
I finally started getting a peace towards the end of my pregnancy.... I felt that I did not need to pray for pain free delivery. I do not need to treat God like a vending machine where I "put in": enough faith and I "get out" my specific demand. I also felt like I did not need to have a C section. Instead, I felt confident in praying for joy. After all, scripture is full of joyful, suffering people. It is full of examples of the Lord's strength in our weakness. This entire experience of labor and delivery is NOT about me and what I demand...it is about bringing praise to God who created life within me and is bringing that life into the world. It is about HIS miracle...and if I was going to be so present in His work, I wanted to be joyful in it! (even if I was in horrible pain). So, I turned the details of labor and delivery over to God. I asked for joy and health and told Him to make the other decisions. (although I do remember saying that I would not mind, at all, a less painful experience!)
So with those struggles settled in my mind, I woke up last Friday morning to cramping and a thought that, "this could be the day." In light of the fact that I perhaps had a "deadline," I started doing stuff around the house. I finished up dishes, called the Dr to get Levi an appointment (because I was positive he had an ear infection), and drove to Babies R US to buy a few last minute essentials. I made sure to treat myself to DD coffee...and I definitely shaved my legs. Throughout the day the contractions kept getting stronger and closer. I called my mom to put them on "stand by" and took Levi to the doctor (got him an anti biotic) and called Dan to tell him maybe he should not be the "late person" that night at work. We did an early dinner out (in which I became CLEARLY aware that this baby was definitely coming) and called my parents to say, "come on up!"
I spent the rest of the evening laboring at home and, about 45mins after my parents arrived, called the hospital to say I was coming in because I was most definitely going to have a baby! I got all excited and worked up and felt like everyone should be as excited as me!! Therefore, I was a little off-put when I arrived in LD and the nursing staff totally acted like I was there because I was dehydrated. News Flash - I am ALWAYS dehydrated. But that didn't seem to make the nurses care too much. I labored quietly in the monitoring room (trying not to be dramatic...and seeeething at the male nurse who was seriously acting like I wasn't in labor) and I drank my water that they gave me....waiting....
Finally a resident came in to check me. SURPRISE! I am super dilated and effaced! This discovery gains me the golden key to a room of my own and the words "well, you ARE going to have a baby tonight!" from the resident. Thanks. I know.
So because everyone was dawdling around...it was now after 10:30pm and I was told that I missed the anesthesiologist who just went in for a C section. So I was told I would have to wait an hour or more for my epidural. Not cool. I LOVED my epidural with Levi and had been counting down the minutes until I could get mine and start snoozing. So I took some Stadol instead. That stuff was funny! I was rational enough to know that I was loopy...which made me laugh and seem loopier. I could totally still feel the pain of contractions but it was like I just didn't care as much.
As the stadol wore off, the anesthesia people were finally ready for me. I got my epidural (not as amazing as my last one)...but TOTALLY helpful. I was able to relax and Dan drifted off into a deep sleep (snoring and everything). I had some final moments of quiet to pray again about the delivery that was about to happen. All I wanted at that moment was my daughter - even if I had to go through the same or more pain than I did with Levi. I just wanted her and I wanted her to be okay. And I again prayed for Joy.
Just before 3am I had a feeling (not a physical one..because the guy who did the epidural completely numbed me) It was more like I was just ready, and I knew it. And then I saw some blood "down there." In hind-sight I should not have been surprised...I mean, this whole experience is not "clean." But, for some reason, I was really surprised by this discovery and so I did what seemed appropriate: I started yelling....which woke Dan up from his blissful sleep with quite a start. I definitely laugh out loud when thinking of this moment because Dan clearly had that "I have no clue what is going on...but my wife is screaming so I should be super frantic" type look. He was the one who finally found the remote with the call button on it and rang for the nurse. The nurse sauntered in with the resident (clearly not as worked up as me) and said cheerfully, "we wondered when you would ring for us to tell us you were ready." I mumbled something about being completely numb but I am not sure they heard. They assured me that I was not bleeding to death and said that they should call the attending immediately. Well, the attending barely made it in time...I started pushing at 3:01am and Norah Marie Thrush was born at 3:03am! 3 pushes!! (and they were not even crazy hard pushes!!) Our sweet baby was snuggled onto my skin and I held her for a long time - looking at her in total amazement. How does this happen? Really? How does this life develop so completely and perfectly...fingers, toes, hair, eye lashes...? She was 6lbs 4oz of pure perfectness! And she was healthy and vibrant! (and she still is!!)
They said that I had a small 2nd degree tear along one of my previous scars.... but I can say that I have barely felt a thing. I kept waiting for something to "wear off" and feel that horrible pain, but it never came. I also felt energized and crazy excited. And most of all, I felt this total sense of JOY! I was not overwhelmed or worried or traumatized...I was Joyful! Some people may say that this is a "typical" 2nd baby experience...that my joy is because I was not in such pain or because I didn't have to push as long or because I am a more confident mom. That all may be true in part, but this overwhelming joy is from the Lord... because I am still tired, I did have a bit of pain to deal with, I am trying to adjust to being Levi's mommy AND being Norah's mommy....and, hey, I still have hormones that are going crazy. Yet my joy has remained so steady. I know that we will have hard times....long nights...looonger days when I am home alone with two kids...but I can say that God has been so good to us and He has given so much joy. So, my labor story, to me, is very exciting...and encouraging....and, hopefully, glorifying to God.
No comments:
Post a Comment